Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I've never, ever looked at a sex toy and said, "I MUST HAVE THIS FOR MY VAGINA!"
Until I saw this.
Someone is buying herself and early birthday present.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
However, I'm a little disturbed by the letter sent out to everyone about it.
Maybe it's just because I haven't gotten any in awhile, but methinks someone gets a little too excited about fresh produce.
What do you think?
Brothers and Sisters, have you ever stopped at a roadside stand and bought fresh fruit and vegetables? You slice those plump, round tomatoes, put them on a sandwich, and bite into them. Juice squirts out of them and the sweetness fills your mouth. There’s only one thing better, and that’s picking them fresh from the garden. Luscious fresh fruit and vegetables dripping wet with dew, shining in the morning sun! Okay, maybe that’s a little over the top but you catch my drift. Melons are firmer, rounder and sweeter, cucumbers thicker and longer, corn plump and ready to explode in your mouth, and all of them have a freshness and goodness that can’t be found in the grocery store. They not only taste better, they are better. Wholesome and filled with the vitamins and minerals we need. And in these difficult economic times, you can trade a little bit of time and energy for the food your family needs.
This Saturday we'll meet at our new Ward garden on the [redacted]'s land. We will be breaking the virgin earth, tilling the fertile soil, and spreading our seed. The more hands the better, so I hope you can all make it!
I'll have what he's having!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Why did I dream this? It's freaking (and grossing) me out. I don't watch porn, or even especially dirty movies. I don't think I'm a closet algolagnia um, person. Algolagnian? You know, some one who gets off on pain. I don't think I'm a gross fetishy person either. Hell, I'm not even a regular kind of fetishy person! Spell check is telling me that "fetishy" is not a word. Spell check can suck it.
Ok, so I was curious what one of those dream interpreter websites would say about my freaky dream, and here's what I found (the whole section is just as it is on the website):
To give or to receive oral sex in your dream suggests eagerness to provide or accept gratification and happiness. It is a representation of your artistic vigor and reaffirms that you are taking the correct path in life. The dream may also be a retort on discussions about sex. You may have to articulate your sexual wishes and desires to your lover. It is also possible that your dream on oral sex is an actual manifestation of your sexual fantasies.
A dream about you performing oral sex on yourself symbolizes a yearning for self satisfaction.
To dream about anal sex symbolizes compliance and obedience. You harbour concerns about revealing your inner thoughts and emotions to others for fear of experiencing pain
The presence of a pig in your dream stands for filthiness, greediness, stubbornness or self-centeredness. The pig may also stand for richness and overindulgence.
Sex represents teamwork, stability, serenity, fulfilment, affection, harmony, matrimony, relations, and adoration. All aspects of your life are in perfect balance. It can also denote that you are satisfied with your home life.
To see a stag in your dream symbolizes elegance and liveliness. You may have an opportunity to have your reputation or social position improved. You will gain inner peace and satisfaction.
To dream of seeing a penis in your dream refers to your sexual urges, power and virility. To see an exceptionally huge penis symbolizes qualms and worries about your sexual energy, libido and sexual activities.
To see a Satyr or dream that you are a Satyr suggests that you are yearning to express your sexuality rather than keep those feelings and wants pent up inside.
Having an orgasm in your dream symbolizes an electrifying conclusion to something. What is absolute for you? On the other hand, it may represent the lack of sex in your life and your need to express some of your sexual hang-ups.
Ok, am I missing something? I had a freaky dream, but it did not involve a pig, stag, or a satyr.
Maybe my dream wasn't that strange after all.